How to shock a fast food server

People who work in fast food pretty much see and hear it all. There is very little you or I say that they haven’t heard before.

Recently, I had an exchange with an African American worker at a nearby McDonald’s that left us both nearly speechless. I had just stopped in to use the free wifi and catch up on emails, so when it was my turn to order, I approached with my customary, “May I please have a small black coffee.”

“There’s that word again,” she replied.

I stood there in stunned silence thinking my use of the word “black” offended her. A checkmate of the eyes ensued for several seconds as I grasped for my next words.

Thankfully, she broke the silence with, “Please. I hardly ever hear that word and it’s so pleasing to the ear when I hear it.”

I explained that my niece who works in fast food recently told me that her biggest pet peave is when people come up to the counter and say “I want….”

Having worked in a number of service roles in the past myself, I try to be pleasant with service workers as a rule. However, my niece’s perspective helped me realize that I need to bring my A game in manners whenever I interact with fast food workers. Plus, I’ve been trying to model better manners for my teen daughters; even though they weren’t with me on this occasion.

I challenge you to give it a try. Next time you’re ordering food from a fast food worker, see if you can shock them by using your best manners. Extra credit: address the person by the name on his or her name tag when you thank them.

The work ethic of teens these days

Those of us of the Gen X generation and older often pass judgment on the teens of today with statements like these:

They have it so easy.
They don’t know what hard work is.
Where’s the work ethic?

I’ve been guilty of the same sort of prejudices.

Recently, my teenage daughter turned that all around for me. Less than one week after her 17th birthday, she reported to work for her first job: at 5 a.m. – on a school day! She’s lifeguarding at the neighborhood Y. The pool is outdoors. It’s January. We live in Phoenix. But still, it’s chilly in the morning, and on this morning it happens to be raining.

“Lifeguarding is not work,” some would say. “All they do is stand around and twirl a whistle.”

Having seen the effort she has put into it, I can now contest the previous statement. Lifeguarding is skilled labor at a minimum. Prior to even being granted an interview, she was required to give up two full weekends and two weeknights for the prerequisite training. She now knows every aspect of keeping others safe at the pool: first aid, CPR, dealing with panic, hypothermia and more. She paid a handsome sum out of her own pocket for the training with no hint of being reimbursed. She passed a series of in-class quizzes, plus two water tests, and a grilling of an interview with both her manager and the manager’s manager.

Today was her first day on the job. I was awakened at 4:15 a.m. by the sound of her getting ready. Although she’s pretty self sufficient, I got up to see if she needed any last minute help so she could scoot out the door on time. She was good. She had prepared everything she needed the night before: Clothes for work, clothes for school, her lunch, and gear for swim practice after school.

To say I am proud of her would be an understatement. But, the purpose of this post is not to brag about my daughter, although I could do so all day long. My hope is that you will join me in looking a little deeper into the plight of today’s youth. In many ways, they face far more challenges and obstacles than many of us did when we were growing up. Let’s show them our respect with words of encouragement and gratitude. Thank you!

Cruising Arizona’s Apache Trail

I had a free weekend in mid-January 2014, so my oldest daughter and I took to Arizona’s open roads and checked the Apache Trail off our Arizona Bucket List. The roughly 5-hour loop begins just north of the town of Apache Junction on the eastern edge of Phoenix metro. Most of the drive consists of fairly navigable two-lane blacktop. It’s the 25 or so miles of dusty, washboard road that will keep me from rushing back.

Prior to moving to Phoenix in 2012, I spent 17 years in the Denver – Boulder area of Colorado and did plenty of driving in the Rocky Mountains. So, I am fairly adept at handling steep, winding roads. However, I wasn’t prepared for just how steep some of the sections on the Apache Trail would be. In particular, Fish Creek Hill requires you to ride the brakes almost non-stop as you descend over 1,500 feet in elevation in just a couple miles. Even riding in my vehicle’s lowest gear, the decline was too steep to cruise without the use of brakes. As a result, many drivers, including me, pulled off about two-thirds of the way down the hill to let the brakes cool off – and take a few pictures.

I will let the pictures below tell the rest of my story; however, if I had to name a highlight it would be the awesome splendor of Apache Lake – a Goldilocks sized reservoir sandwiched between Roosevelt and Canyon Lakes along the Salt River. At one point, we backed my truck onto a small driveway on a bluff overlooking the marina area and sat on the tailgate to chow down our picnic lunch. As we resumed the drive, I was awestruck by the towering cliffs shooting out of the glassy, narrow channel on the lake’s eastern end. The visuals ignited dreams of bringing my family back in warmer months to cruise the lake in a rental boat.

Views from the Apache Trail (click any image to enlarge):

Superstition Mountains on Apache Trail, AZ

Canyon Lake Turnoff, Apache Trail, AZ

Canyon Lake Marina, Apache Trail, AZ

Canyon Lake Overlook, Apache Trail, AZ

Apache Trail, Arizona

Drivers view on Apache Trail, Arizona

Natural cave along Apache Trail, Arizona

Mummy rock on Apache Trail, Arizona

Lunchtime at Apache Lake

Canyon Lake Overlook, Apache Trail, AZ

Fisherman at Apache Lake

Burnt Corral campground at Apache Lake, Arizona

Rock formations along Apache Trail, Arizona

Canyon walls along Apache Trail, Arizona

Saguaro cactus on banks of Apache Lake

Rock formation along Apache Trail

Apache Lake Basin, Arizona

Canyon walls towering over Apache Lake, Arizona

My new year’s resolution: Dropping the F-bomb

I know what you are thinking. Why would anyone want to make using the F-word a resolution? That’s just it: I don’t want to start using the F-word. I want to drop it from my vocabulary altogether.

For many of you, this may sound like a trivial resolution. However, use of the F-word has become all too commonplace for me. Although few people in my social circles have heard me use the F-word, it has become a word I rely on far too frequently in my vocabulary – especially when I’m alone.

Many times, I use it only when I’m talking to myself, such as when I’m driving or going about my work day. I use it as a noun, a verb, an adjective, a pronoun, and often as a complete sentence.

It always sets me back when I hear somebody that I respect otherwise, drop the F-bomb in the course of conversation. One day, it occurred to me that others probably have similar reactions when I use it. And if negative talk has any impact on moods (I believe it does), then I might be able to improve my overall mood by nixing the F-word.

In any case, the word is never used to express anything positive when it comes out of my mouth. My hope is to eradicate it from my lexicon altogether, since it does not benefit me in any way. Effective immediately, I will cease to use the F-word.

Challenge: Give the gift of your full attention

Challenge for the week: Give the gift of your full attention.

Give the gift of your full attention. That’s a gift few people give. That gift alone will make others want to be around you and remember you.

You can’t connect with others if you’re busy connecting with your stuff, too. Put your stuff away. Don’t check your phone. Don’t glance at your monitor. Don’t focus on anything else, even for a moment.

Have you heard about the free travel services on Craigslist?

We’re on a tight budget these days but determined to do something fun out of town with the kiddos for Spring Break. Since we’re new to Phoenix and only a six hour drive from the LA/Hollywood area, my wife and I decided we could work a thrifty road trip into the budget.

Beautiful pic of Santa Monica pier by Dan Adamato — Beautiful pic of Santa Monica pier by Dana Damato (www.danadamato.com).

So we put some dates on the calendar and began to plan. The trouble with searching the web for things to do is that most of the search results include options that cost money. I knew if I could talk to some locals I could find some cheap or free ways to entertain our tween-aged daughters.

Since we don’t know anyone who lives in LA, I posted this plea for help in the “Frugal” message board on Craigslist/LA:

Looking for help from locals. We’re hoping to find a studio tour or filming of some sort to experience that is free or cheap. Any tips?

The crowd came through in a big way. Here are the responses I received in just the first 48 hours:

Craigslist has an event calendar for every city, click on a day in calendar at left side. http://losangeles.craigslist.org/
Google free tv tickets Los Angeles. We saw the Jimmy Kimmel show and Jeopardy. The Science Museum in Exposition Park is free. Natural History Museum is cheap. Ride the Blue Line to Long Beach. Take the Red Line to Union Station, walk to Olvera Street and Chinatown. Red Line also to Hollywood Blvd. Gold Line to Pasadena.
Call the Burbank studios to get tickets to Leno.
Universal has a theme park tour, but I think it costs.
Google free tv tickets Los Angeles. We saw the Jimmy Kimmel show and Jeopardy.
The Science Museum in Exposition Park is free.
Natural History Museum is cheap.
Universal city walk – it’s a few miles north of downtown LA (on the subway too) its free to walk around the stores and browse. the biggest cost is parking. but its about $80 a person to enter Universal City theme park next to it.
Drive to Santa Monica beach. You have to see the ocean plus the Santa Monica pier is a boardwalk classic the main cost is finding parking at the end of the 10 freeway.
Walk around Hollywood & Vine. See the stars in the sidewalk with Grummans theater handprints, and Kodak theater walk into souvenir stores see all the hucksters on the sidewalks, some impersonating stars.
Drive up to Griffith Observatory. That’s where they film lots of movies you’ll have a good view of downtown L.A. and the Hollywood sign nice science museum there too; parts are free.

Thanks, Craigslisters. This oughtta keep us busy!

You want baseball? You can’t handle the baseball!

About this time last year, when I was living in Colorado, I proclaimed to my Facebook friends, “One of these years I’m going to go to Phoenix for a couple weeks and attend as many MLB spring games as I can. Just not this year.”

At the time I had never been to the Phoenix area and we had not yet discussed moving here. (Another post for another time.) That was also before I realized just how much baseball action takes place in Arizona. Every spring thousands of people flock to the Phoenix area for to catch glimpses of their favorite players up close during Major League Baseball Spring Training. It turns out Spring Training is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

In the past five years or so, I have become a fan of the complete game – the players, the stats, the rules (written and unwritten), the coaches, the umps, the fans, the reporters, the stadiums. I love it all – minus paid parking. I study in the off-season by reading biographies, magazines and geeky books like “Watching Baseball Smarter.”

So this year I’m committed to taking in as much baseball in person as I can. Back in January I mapped out what the spring would look like on a calendar. I started with the MLB Spring Training calendar – six or more games per day from the end of February through March. On top of those games, I overlaid the World Baseball Classic, then Arizona State and University of Arizona games, plus a baseball experience like no other.

Photo of vintage base ball game at Warren Field, Bisbee, AZ — Vintage Base Ball Tournament at Warren Field in Bisbee, AZ. Photo courtesy of Friends of Warren Ballpark.

Would you believe the oldest active baseball stadium in the U.S. is also in Arizona? Yes, even older than Boston’s Fenway Park. Had to book a family trip to Bisbee in April. We’ll catch one day of the Copper City Classic Vintage “Base Ball” tournament on Saturday. They play by 1860 rules in old school uniforms and the umps wear beanies and bow ties.

On our way home Sunday, we’ll stop in Tucson to watch the defending national champion (2012) Arizona Wildcats play the Cal Bears – a 2011 College World Series team – in another classic ballpark: Hi Corbett.

I took in my first Spring Training game with my teenage daughter this past Sunday. It was windy and cold and she wanted to leave early. I coaxed and coddled her to stay through six innings. Day two of my 2013 baseball binge is today: day one of the four-day round robin Coca Cola Classic Tournament in Surprise featuring ASU, Arkansas, Gonzaga and Pacific.

As if plotting out all the baseball games going on isn’t challenge enough, I need to work in my full-time job and my part-time role as taxi driver for the kiddos, plus their sporting and school events and the occasional family meal.

I’m not sure how I’ll handle all this baseball but I’m going to give it a try.

Reflections on 12-12-12: No ordinary Wednesday

by @PaulFiarkoski

I’m not into numerology, so I don’t believe anything special happens when numbers line up in a certain way. That said, all the hype with 12-12-12 could have came and went for me with almost no significance. Same for last year on November 11, and October 10 the year before that. August 8, 2008 (08-08-08) was sort of cool since it was my sister’s birthday – and the day of the opening ceremonies for the Beijing Olympics.

My lack of interest in a numerically significant date notwithstanding, somehow a switch was flipped for me the morning of December 12, 2012. It actually started the night before when my 11 year-old daughter made me pinky promise I would take a picture of my iPod screen for her at exactly 12:12 pm since she would be at school.

Couldn’t avoid the buzz
When I checked in on Facebook the morning of the 12th, my feed was lit up with all things 12-12-12. Same thing on Twitter. One post in particular stood out to me: ” 12.12.12 …I have the DVR all ready to go!,” a friend from my high school posted. It was then that I remembered hearing about the benefit concert taking place later in the day at New York’s Madison Square Garden. I promptly set my DVR too.

Time check
I worked from home that day and started my lunch hour at exactly 12 noon, so could I stay focused on upholding the pledge I made to my daughter. An added bonus was being able to hug and kiss my wife like we do each New Year’s eve at midnight. I captured the special moment on my iPod and posted the image on Facebook with a snarky comment about surviving 12-12-12. Even though I know the Mayans alleged apacolypse was allegedly not to occur until December 21, so many people mistook the twelfth for D-day that I decided to play along.

The screen shot I took of my iPod screen at 12:12 on December 12, 2012.

Benefit concert
The day continued as any usual Wednesday would until 6:30 local time when the 12-12-12 benefit concert came on the tv. What a line up! When it kicked off with Bruce Springstein and Bon Jovi I quickly realized this was going to be a big event. The legends just kept parading out, one after another. Roger Waters (Pink Floyd), Eric Clapton, Mick Jagger, the Who. Honestly, I got chills a few times just sitting there watching these larger than life rock stars humble themselves for the cause of raising money for those suffering from the effects of SuperStorm Sandy.

I checked in on Facebook and Twitter a couple times during the show to see how others were reacting to the performances. Most were impressed, although there were a few low points. Kanye West comes to mind. A personal favorite for me was Adam Sandler’s rendition of Hallelujah. An instant classic! The biggest shock for me was that Alicia Keys did not sing her hit “New York”. Maybe I’ll find out when I play the rest of the concert on the 13th that it was part of a finale. I hope so.

Like Farm Aid on steroids
Here was my one-liner that summarized how I felt about the concert: Farm Aid has been working out and taking roids for the last 25 years and has re-emerged as the #121212concert for Superstorm Sandy victims.

I mentioned to my wife that when we look back at tonight in ten years or so, we’re going to realize this was a bigger event than Woodstock, BandAid or any of the other big time concert events.

Meteor Shower
Another topic that others were commenting about on social media was the Geminid Meteor Shower – an event I would not have been aware of were it not for Facebook. Then Kanye West took the stage. About 45 seconds into his act I decided then was a good time to make a break for the hot tub. Everyone else in the family had already dozed off, so I was solo. Low and behold, I saw a few streaks from the meteors whizzing through the night sky, high above South Mountain on the south edge of Phoenix.

I still don’t believe there is any thing special about how certain numbers line up. But thanks to the large contingent of others that do believe, 12-12-12 was anything but an ordinary Wednesday for me.

How to survive without cable or satellite tv

by @PaulFiarkoski

In 2012 my family of four decided to chase after the notion of financial peace. It was a decision that my wife and I made, but we made sure to include the kiddos in on the plan so as to explain why some things would be changing around the house.

GE indoor outdoor antenna — This medium quality indoor/outdoor HD antenna cost about $40 and delivers all the network and local channels in high definition.

Although I didn’t earn any popularity points for this one, I made the executive decision that we would be cutting DirecTV out of our budget after about fifteen years of loyal subscribership. It wasn’t easy at first but we’ve adjusted, and now we rarely miss the hundreds of channels we had access to but rarely watched.

How we did away with satellite TV
Since we already had a HDTV, I purchased a medium quality digital antenna for about $40 that I mounted on the side of our house nearest the radio and tv antennas perched atop South Mountain in Phoenix. After running the channel scan, we ended up with about 40 channels that are viewable; however, roughly a quarter of them are Spanish only stations and another quarter program content we would consider only on the most sleepless of sleepless nights. We do get all of the majornetwork channels that accounted for about 80% of our viewing when we had satellite. Most of the channels we watch now are in high definition, so we’re actually getting a higher quality picture than satellite at no cost.

Stretching our dollars with technology
So as to make sure we could watch the shows we want when we want (a habit we developed thanks to the DVR satellite receiver), I did spring for a Tivo box at a cost of about $70 and a $20 monthly service fee. I also pay for high speed internet from the local cable company and have the internet connection wired directly to the Tivo box. The internet connection means we can stream videos from Netflix ($8 a month for unlimited movies and programs) as well as free videos and programming available from YouTube and Tivo.

For music channels similar to the satellite radio stations on DirecTV, we now stream our favorite Pandora channels. We can also now surf the web, shop or play games with others around the world on the Wii console that’s also wired to the tv.

There are still moments when we really miss some of the stuff we used to watch on channels we no longer get. For instance, my wife and daughters used to love watching Dance Moms. When Superstorm Sandy battered New Jersey and New York, I really wished I had The Weather Channel.

Update (Jan. 1, 2012): I may be a little slow, but I just discovered that we can watch ESPN and a number of cable networks on the iPad, thanks to the growing number of available apps.

Bottom line
We gave up a monthly satellite bill of about $80 in exchange for our current cost of $28 (Tivo and Netflix) – a savings of $52 a month. That’s over $600 a year we’re saving for giving up very little. It may not be worth it to a lot of people, but we are laser focused on cutting our expenses and paying down debt.If it sounds good to you, I would suggest you try pulling the plug on cable (or satellite) and see how much you can save too.

Buying health insurance in the Obamacare era

by Paul Fiarkoski

The Affordable Care Act – aka Obamacare – has become a hot political topic as of late. Oddly, this issue has divided even voters registered within the political parties.

From my perspective, much of the talk before the Obama healthcare plan went into effect was rhetoric based on fear. As a result of my insurance training, the notion of having everyone in the U.S. insured would spread risk across a huge pool of people and greatly reduce costs across the board.

Now that Obamacare has been in place for about a year, I’d like to share my family’s recent experience with the health insurance buying process.

Want the conclusion? Here’s mine: Obamacare is sorely needed in today’s economy.

Background
Due to a new career path I decided to take, my wife and I recently (July 2012) found ourselves in the market for health insurance for our family of four. I gave up the group insurance I had for the last twelve years and decided to pay out of pocket for a high-deductible individual policy. We have two tween-aged daughters. The company we dealt with is Aetna. That’s who I had the group policy with and who I applied for the individual policy with.

I thought it would make things simpler to stick with them since every one of our health insurance claims went through Aetna for more than a decade. I couldn’t have been more wrong. We still had to document for them every doctor visit, illness, etc. over the past ten years. When I suggested that they look up our claims and base their decision of whether or not to insure us based on their records, the representative said they couldn’t do that due to privacy laws. Right from the script!

Playing by the insurance company’s rules
Really? Privacy laws prevent me from giving my own insurance company access to their own files containing information about my health. I didn’t like that answer but played along since I really didn’t want my family to be uninsured.

As it turned out, my wife was denied coverage completely. And not just for me misstating her height and weight. It was that, combined with something that was not discovered in the physical but that my wife mentioned to the doctor, who logged it in her notes to the insurance company. We paid out of pocket to have the doctor treat the other matter, then appealed Aetna’s decision knowing in our minds that my wife would likely not be able to get coverage with another company now since one of the key questions on a new application is “Have you ever been denied coverage by any insurance company?”

I was issued a policy but with a 40% higher premium than I was originally quoted. Even though the bloodwork that I paid out of pocket for revealed that I’m in better health than I was five years ago, they rated me for “pre-diabetes,” likely because I mentioned on the application that a family member has diabetes. Great, now I’m paying more for revealing information that is none of Aetna’s business and they would have otherwise had no access to. Both of my kiddos were issued policies but one of them was rated higher due to an injury she sustained at gymnastics practice six months earlier.

At that point I couldn’t help but wondering if I had not mentioned the gymnastics injury, or my family member’s diabetes, or if I had been accurate with my wife’s height and weight, would we be having any of this trouble. Would Aetna have detected omissions on the application by checking our claim history? Call me a cynic, but my hunch is that yes they would.

Light at the end of the tunnel
Currently I and my two kids are insured. My wife is still uninsured as we await the outcome of the appeal. In the meantime, thanks to a tidbit I found in small print on Aetna’s denial letter, my wife will be eligible to apply for a “no pre-existing conditions” policy in early 2013. Prior to Obamacare this option would not have existed. I have already checked the premiums and the cost is about 30% higher than what Aetna originally quoted us. Chances are that even if Aetna does decide to cover her, it will be at an increased rate.

Regardless of the outcome, it is good to know that thanks to Obamacare we have the ability to get insurance for my wife. We just need to pray that she remains healthy until her insurance kicks in.

Option for people who have been denied health insurance
Apply for insurance under the Pre-existing Condition Insurance Plan made possible by the Affordable Care Act. Get details at www.pcip.gov

As for the runaround and rated policies we received from Aetna, I don’t attribute that to Obamacare. Having dealt with them for the last twelve years for my group policy, I have become wise to their archaic infrastructure and tendency to stonewall when it comes to paying out benefits.

Lessons learned
Here are some tips I would offer to anyone thinking about applying for an individual (not group) health insurance policy:

Don’t guess when completing the application. I guessed my wife is 5’8′ and 120. Although I scored big points with her for that one, Aetna said she was too thin to be considered for coverage.
Don’t overshare. Since insurance companies are allgedly prevented from obtaining health information about your relatives, don’t reveal anything. Make them insure you based on your health.
Apply to more than one company about three months before you need the coverage. That’s about how long it can take to get insurance from the time you apply. This way you can go with the company that offers you the best overall package (price, service, efficiency) and tell the other(s) you won’t be needing them.
Keep detailed records of medical treatments you and your family members receive. It will save you a lot of grief if you ever have to apply for individual health insurance.